But it also lets him implicitly disapprove of the more explicitly sexual nature of Grindr.
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That is to say, I see a lot of my own most embarrassing qualities in Mayor Pete, as he is known. We are almost precisely the same age, We occupy the same broad economic position, that 10 percent of the population who sit just below the fabulously rich.
We grew up in similar social and economic milieus in the greater Midwest. We are both white. We are both gay. And we are both inclined to be performatively sheepish about admitting that we met our romantic partners online. But I think it is important to talk about hook-up apps and what our panicky elders used to call hook-up culture before they began to panic that young people are no longer having enough sex , because ostentatious abhorrence of — at least, embarrassment about — hooking up is a major constitutive component of a type of unthreatening, socially acceptable, vaguely conservative gay identity that folks like Mayor Pete are aggressively selling to the squares.
I have increasingly come to believe that, though perhaps not intentionally, they do so to the detriment of many other gay folk and queer folk and trans folk and folks who just do not — when you put yourself in the mind of a voter with an NPR mug and maybe even an equality sticker on the back of the Volvo — quite look the part.
Now, I give Buttigieg some credit. In joking about Grindr, he acknowledges its existence, and even acknowledging the existence of a sex app still carries some risk for a gay politician aspiring to a higher position in public life. But in defining himself against it, he sets down some very particular parameters about how he wants to be seen. He wants to define himself as a very specific kind of family man: a veteran, a Christian, and a fierce, married monogamist, in stark moral opposition to the gross, philandering current occupant of the White House.
This is probably good politics. In a recent speech to the LGBTQ Victory Fund, a political action committee that advocates for LGBT political candidates, Buttigieg talked about growing up with the notion that to be gay was to exist in a socially defined opposition to these moral qualities:. He spoke movingly of having wished he could have been something other than what he was. I believe Buttigieg when he says he wished he could be straight. I came out in high school, in my junior year, and was always pretty comfortable with my sexuality and felt blessedly supported by my family, but adolescence is awful and adolescent difference is worse; I recognize the sleepless longing to be, for once, just like everyone else.
I am, however, a little suspicious of the neat schema of his biographical tale. Gay or married. Gay or in politics. Gay or a soldier. Former Massachussetts Rep. Barney Frank came out in In , the Hawaii Supreme Court ruled for gay marriage in Baehr v. To many young LGBTQ people — the poor, people of color, trans people or people who were otherwise gender non-conforming — these battles were distant and often immaterial. Retrieved March 1, Martin, Victoria January 28, Retrieved February 12, Buttigieg Kaniewski Funeral Homes, Inc".
Why Pete Buttigieg is bad for gays
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Mayor Pete might be the most palatable gay man in America. That's precisely the problem.
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