It was scary.
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I was 21 in Lincoln, Neb. It was We got cheers. I was 18 years old when I first held hands with another guy.
I had just graduated from high school in Temecula, Calif. I was still very much in the closet — only a few close friends knew that I was gay. One day we drove to Los Angeles to see a concert and as we got out of the car and started walking toward the venue, he held my hand. My heart began to beat faster and I hesitated putting my hands in my pocket, but I decided to just keep walking with his hand in mine. I felt like so much attention was on us when we started to walk by other people going about their evening in the city, but I quickly realized nobody was really noticing us at all it was L.
But what I remember about this experience was the feeling after I got over the initial moment of holding hands with a guy in public for the first time. I felt like I was the same as everyone else. That who I am and my relationship is nothing that needs to be hidden and I deserve to live freely just as any other person does. I remember feeling relief and excitement about my future as a gay man which motivated me to live openly and authentic.
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I'm 27 now and let me just say I had to fight to finally be here. But that moment holding hands with my teenage boyfriend was the first time in my life I had confidence in my sexuality, which changed the way I viewed myself and the life around me. While I was holding her hand, I was suddenly very defensive.
I was continuously searching for someone who would have a problem with it. We always refrained from a lot of P. I never really felt in danger until after gay marriage was legalized. Once that happened, people were a lot more open about their homophobia and we toned our public affection down even further.
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To this day, we really try to refrain from touching too much and rarely kiss in public. Not to say we aren't affectionate in public, but we stay very conscious of what is too much and what might offend people.
L.G.B.T. Couples on Holding Hands in Public for the Very First Time
Less than a year into my relationship with the woman I am now married to, we were walking into a Walmart holding hands. We were talking to each other and paying no mind to anyone else. There is no substitute for this amazing site, so stop by and become a member today! Namely, you can use the website while being anonymous and having your information protected.
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